luckily i have purse

The other night, I was enjoying dinner at a dive-y Malaysian restaurant in West Warwick, Rhode Island. It was like A1 Chinese Buffet in Canton meets P.F. Chang’s, if that makes sense? The food was underwhelming, the cocktail I ordered was vile, but the company was aces. There was a lot of banter, even coming from me, as someone who had never met these people before in my life. It was clear from the beginning that we were all knowledgeable on a variety of different topics, had similar senses of humor, and generally just had a lot to talk about.

In a political climate as dire as the one we have so unfortunately created for ourselves, I consider political alignment as a non-negotiable foundation for fostering any kind of meaningful connection (because let me be very clear: if there is any part of you, a single follicle or fiber, that could possibly condone any of the multitude of heinous actions this administration has done thus far, you are dead to me. And I mean that with all the disrespect I can muster, of course), and it was evident that all five of us picking at room temperature crab rangoon and slimy rice noodles were aligned politically.

But there was a moment that caused some tension. And maybe this was one sided, meaning I was the one who felt the tension, but I digress.

This truly sweet, sweet man said with his whole chest: “This is going to be a war between millennials and capitalism.”

Well, yes. But I fear that’s quite a pedestrian observation, no? Haven’t we known that all along- that capitalists and capitalism is the root cause of all our suffering? Where were you when Parasite and Get Out were getting all the media hype? Eat the rich? Ringing any bells?

And I will tell you, few things irritate me more than people delivering the most banal statements with this air of having just said the most clever and insightful thing since Kelsey Kreppel said, “Luckily I have purse,” or since Nick Miller said, “Gave me cookie, got you cookie.”

Honestly, I enjoyed this person, I liked him as a person. This is not an affront against him nor a critique of his character. It’s just that as a whole, people are not using their critical thinking skills, if they had any to begin with, nearly as much as we used to (thank you Gemini and ChatGPT) so that when we do, it is meant to be astounding. Like congratulations for stating the obvious, I guess?

Any political analyst or whatever will tell you that the war has always been against capitalism. Bernie Sanders ran on that notion, and people hated him for it.

Others just simply can’t give up their crippling Amazon and Shein addictions to see it.

To eating the rich and burning it all down,

Lo